It was at Boba Loca in La Mirada, CA that Miles' adoption first was discussed. It was Teagan and I's first date, we hit up 'Islands' in Fullerton, then went to the Sunday night service @ Rock Harbor in Costa Mesa - but then to prolong our date we hit up some Boba.
There were three things that went through my head at that point - all simultaneously 1) What an incredible heart this gal has and 2) Man - if I wanted to marry this girl I better want to adopt and 3) I want to marry this girl.
From this night forward, I have been on an adoption journey.
When I married Teagan, there were many things that I wanted for us and our family - but if I was to summarize all those things in one simple sentence it would be this, "I want for the Mercer family to be a family that lives Jesus' love." I dream at the end of my life, I can say I led a family that was weird - that we were a family that turned the idea of a successful American family upside down - that we lived selflessly.
It is amazing to think that God planted this passion in my heart, and God planted the passion of adoption in Teagan's heart - for they are absolutely/definitely/undeniably the same passion. I praise God for this, and I pray he gives us the strength to sustain this passion for our lifetimes.
I want to briefly just say that God has been breaking me of so many things over the past several months - and I know within my heart the reasons (much of it is preparing me to be a dad). But if you are reading this and you call Jesus your King - I encourage you to truly know what that means and what that should look like on a daily basis. I am in process of this, and it has been painful, but I love it...
_______________________________________________________________________
So Tuesday night was our second home study with our case manager, Trina. The purpose of this home study was to ensure we are on the right track for completing the paper work (dossier) in a time frame that aligns with the submission for the legal paperwork with the County of Maricopa, the State of Arizona, the country of the USA, and the country of Ethiopia. May I just say that there is A LOT of paperwork! (Teags and I don't mind it for the purpose of so much paperwork is to ensure orphans are placed in good situations and are not adopted into the sex trade.) Additionally, the second home study is the time where Trina asks us a lot of questions and lastly- 'investigates' our house to ensure it is a safe place for Miles.
We reviewed where we are on the paperwork and basically just got on the same page with Trina. We were able to ask Trina some questions and get some answers. We are about two to three weeks away from officially submitting the Home Study. After submitting the Home Study, we wait for certification, and then submit our Home Study paperwork along with TONS of other paperwork (see below) to Immigration Services for the US and in Dossier format for Ethiopia. To just give you an idea of what the Dossier includes...
- Application Letter
- Husband Birth Certificate
- Wife Birth Certificate
- Marriage Certificate
- Husband Physical Form (Exam)
- Wife Physical Form (Exam)
- Proof of Medical Insurance
- Proof of Life Insurance
- Proof of Auto Insurance
- Proof of Home Owner's Insurance
- Past Tax Documentation (1040, etc)
- Employment Verification Letter
- Past Residential History
- Past Employment History
- Letter of Guardianship
- Husband Police Report
- Wife Police Report
- Husband Fingerprint Verification
- Wife Fingerprint Verification
- Power of Attorney
- Financial Statements (Investments, Mortgage, Income Verification, Debt Verification, etc).
- County Certification (additional paper work)
- State Certification (additional paper work)
- Reference Letters
....and there are quite a few documents I am missing...but you get the drift!
Once we reviewed our progress of the above documentation - we went onto her questions for us.
Trina asked us quite a few questions. For example:
- Where/How did we meet?
- When did we decide to adopt?
- Why Ethiopia?
- How is our marriage?
- What is our plan, if we had one, for building our family beyond Miles' adoption?
- How we described one another?
- What we feel about Miles' birth parents?
- How we viewed Ethiopian culture?
- What we might expect life to be once Miles is home?
- How we view/handle the loss of loved ones?
I am missing quite a few questions here, but again you get my drift...
Teagan and I were able to articulate pretty good answers for these questions (#BIOLA education) - but one question that stood out to the both of us was our view towards Miles' birth parents. We were so glad to be asked this question, for we were able to have the opportunity to articulate our thoughts about it! We pray for his birth mom and birth dad every day, but how do we feel toward them? This is so tough - for we don't know yet Miles' situation. Was he placed in an orphanage because of his parents' death? or Was he placed in an orphanage because his parent(s) wanted a better life for him? or Was he abandoned? We know nothing at this point - but we pray that Miles' parents care for him - both of them. That he is nurtured through out his development in his birth mom's womb, that his dad provides for him - as best as he can. And at the point where Miles is placed in an orphanage, we pray that God provides his birth parents PEACE - that they are doing the very best thing for him. And that God speaks to them, that He tells them their son is going to have adoptive parents that LOVE him and are going to give him a GREAT life!
After Q&A with Trina was over, she then investigated the house. I believe we passed. She didn't seem to care about the Matt Kemp and Kobe Bryant fat heads on our living room wall, nor Marco Rubio's life size cardboard cut out in our bed room. (KIDDING!!)
So next steps...finish up our Home Study, and our next and final home study is scheduled for October 16th. Then, comprise the rest of our notaries for the Dossier, and from there it will be another year or so (likely more) before we get our little guy home. Thank you for your continued support, if only you are reading this! But we ask that you pray for us! These are the things that you can tangibly pray for:
2) Miles' birth parents (what we described above)
3) Teags and I's preparation
Much love...
Drew
